5 Steps to making Friends with Fear!
Have you ever said no to something because it seems too hard? Have you ever said no to something because the thought makes you feel uncomfortable? Have you ever said no to something in fear of the final result?
I've been there. Not long ago, I use to pretend to play it cool, doubt my confidence or avoid the unknown.
Heck, I still do at times!
Currently, my 3rd mantra blue tacked to my bedroom wall is:
'IT IS NORMAL TO FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY!'.
The thing is, we were born to have fun, not fear! Think back to your younger days when you were much more comfortable to take risks and do scary things. As we become adults, we start to take on more responsibilities. We start relationships, birth children or land ourselves a mortgage. We start to reduce the risks in our lives due to this extra adult responsibly and our brains start to rewire to avoid fear!
Over the past 4 years, I went from a free spirit, and the ‘yolo life’ to married with children. How could I possibly ever snowboard in Japan, surf waves in shark-infested waters, start a business or even leave the kids for 2 nights… (this is actually happening in 2 weeks #yolo).
I swear the more responsibilities I gained the more my brain paralyzed me with fear.
I had to slowly retrain my brain to become comfortable with taking a risk and doing scary things.
I needed it to be in my face every day so I found a mantra that honours what I am trying to achieve.
Since then I have been able to do things I didn’t think were possible.
On Saturday whilst lined up bobbing in the ocean, jaw chattering feeling uncomfortable, nervous and a fear of what wave I would be catching next.. my mantra came to life!
‘FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY!’
With a few deep breathes, that's exactly what I did. It was almost like surrendering to the belief that whatever my skills, whatever the wave formation, whatever the result would be - would be!
To my surprise that fear, that uncomfortable feeling turned into courage and confidence that allowed me to have momentum to catch the next wave and the next wave…
These life experiences as simple as a surf lesson can truly do some powerful inner work.
Is there something you have been thinking about? Putting off? Something challenging, uncomfortable or has an element of the unknown?
Some of the bigger things like jumping out of a plane, starting a business, or quitting your job to travel the world may be the next level of fear but if those big dreams or feelings contribute to how you want to live your life, let’s build momentum and start small.
These days we are quick to shut down our own ideas, thoughts, dreams, goals or literally whatever feels good because of fear.
We choose comfort. We choose non-judgement. We choose to do nothing.
Even tho you have that big beautiful dream in the back of your mind, you become paralyzed.
Let’s resolve this stagnate energy of fear that’s holding you back and work with it.
I want you to introduce an element of risk or doing something uncomfortable in your daily life.
Some examples might be:
Leaving the house with 1 or even 2 children. Yep, this scares me too.
It could be trying a different machine at the gym. You may need to YouTube 'how to' use it but you will figure it out.
A conversation or question with your partner, friend or child.
Attending an event.
Saying ‘no’ to something that’s not serving you well.
Unfollow ‘Mr or Mrs. Negative Nelly’
Smile at a stranger!
It could be acknowledging your Ego. That voice in your head that likes to have conversations about... other people, your thighs, the way your children behave or creating irrational assumptions… That's hard, right? That's uncomfortable. What really brings fear to the ego, is identifying it. Nothing scares the ego like you pointing your finger at it and saying 'HEY THERE, I SEE YOU!!!'
Okay, I've gone off on a slightly spiritual/awakening tangent but we'll roll with it because this exact practice may be the challenge you need.
My 5 Steps to Making Friends with Fear:
Step 1: Write down 3 Big Scary Goals. It's not just a thought or an idea, write it down.
Step 2: Write down 3 Mini-Goals you would love to achieve asap.
Step 3: A list of small actions that feel risky. Remember, these are actions you can choose from and do 1 per day. Not all of them every day (hello overwhelm).
Step 4: Take Action!!! Do something TODAY that makes you 'FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY'.
Step 5: Feel and watch yourself become courageous, uncomfortable, alive and fearless.
Attached below you will find a quick and easy download for anyone who wants to a 1-page printout with the Mantra and action steps. You can fill it out and stick it on your mirror or wall. Get for your free download below.
If your not quite ready to take action, I get that too! Just think about it, were you a bit more rebellious back in your day?